Night of the Living Verdure
by MaryRoyale
Summary: Submitted for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition- Round 10 for the prompt: Write about your mascot after the war. Professor!Neville struggles to fix a student prank that went wrong while evading a student body that shuffles and moans through the halls. Happy Halloween! (Not really crack, even though the summary sounds as though it is...) Just a skosh of horror. A pinch.


**The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition- Round 10**

**Team:** Falmouth Falcons

**Author: **MaryRoyale

**Position:** Beater #2

**Prompts Used:** Infectious, "I shouldn't have asked"

**Team Mascot: **Neville Longbottom

**Title:** Night of the Living Verdure  
**Official Disclaimer**: The original characters of this story are the property of the J.K. Rowling. No infringement of pre-existing copyright is intended. It is my contention that this work of fan fiction is fair use under copyright law. No monies were received for receipt of this work.

**Pairing: **Hannah/Neville if you squint and tilt your head to the side

**Rating:** T  
**Word Count:** 3067

**Warnings:** Shameless exploitation of Cleopatra, Morticia Addams' African Strangler and zombies

**Official Explanation:** This round of the QLFC each team chose a mascot and was charged with writing stories centred around said mascot. Our team is attempting to have all of our stories be compliant with one another. As beater #2 my story was supposed to be Post-War, which meant I that I got to write about Professor!Neville. Since this round happens right around Halloween AND one of my prompts was infectious, well, you can see by the title of this piece that I went there. I wanted to have fun, but I never meant this to be overly crack-y. I don't think it is, really. I just love Halloween and I felt the need to share the love.

**Falmouth Falcon's Team Canon for Neville Longbottom**(in chronological order)**:**

Validity by TrollNexus

Luminescent by LuxaLucifer

Rectifying Mistakes by Erm31323

Night of the Living Verdure by MaryRoyale (that's this one)

I'll keep updating this as the rest of my team posts. When we're all done it'll be 'The Life and Times of Neville Longbottom'. :D

* * *

"Mr Potter!" Headmistress McGonagall's voice cracked across the corridor like whip and James Sirius Potter froze in place. McGonagall marched over to the second-year student and held out her hand impatiently. "Hand it over, Mr Potter."

With a disgruntled sigh James dug in his pocket and handed over the wad of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

"Is that everything, Mr Potter?" McGonagall demanded.

"Yes Headmistress," James replied.

"Good, now be off with you." McGonagall waved a hand shooing him down the hall. She turned to Neville Longbottom and rolled her eyes. "Just like his grandfather that one," she sighed.

"If you say so Headmistress," Neville said.

"If that boy thinks he can pull one over on me he's got another thing coming," McGonagall muttered to herself. "I've had three generations of Potters, and I went to school with Charlus Potter. I know what Halloween means to a Potter—another excuse for pranking! He'll have to get up pretty early in the morning if he thinks he can fool Minerva McGonagall."

Neville wisely kept his mouth shut and followed the Headmistress to her office. He sat down across from her desk and could not help but feel as though he was a naughty schoolboy being called onto the carpet. McGonagall looked at him with her sharp eyes that missed nothing and he could feel the dull flush creeping up his neck.

"Now Neville what is this all about?" McGonagall asked with a frown.

Neville rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. "Honestly? It's a favour for the DMLE. The Aurors did a raid on a supposed Death Eater safe house and they found this plant among the items. They don't think it's a Dark Plant—it's not on the restricted lists or anything like that," Neville rushed to reassure the Headmistress. "They want me to research it, to see if it could be counted as a Dark Artefact so they can add it to the list of charges. It shouldn't take me longer than a couple weeks. Professor Sprout and the Herbology Professors from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons have all offered to come and consult with me. They'll be here on Monday."

"I don't want that thing near children if you don't know what it does," the Headmistress said anxiously. "Can you keep it contained?"

"Of course Headmistress," Neville said with a firm nod. "I've got it secured in the restricted greenhouse. The students all know that that's where all of the dangerous plants are and that it's kept locked at all times."

"Very well," McGonagall said with a little sigh. "I don't suppose it's any worse than mandrakes."

Neville grinned at the Headmistress. "That's the fun thing about plants. They can be poisonous or deadly, but you add it to a potion and it can cure somebody."

"If you say so," Headmistress McGonagall said doubtfully.

* * *

Thunder rumbled ominously as Neville headed from Hagrid's hut toward Hogwarts. He might have been just a bit sloshed. Hagrid's relationship with some giantess hadn't worked out and he was drowning his sorrows in a bottle of Ogden's. Neville may have had one drink… or two… just so Hagrid's feelings wouldn't be hurt; the poor bloke was miserable enough already. As Neville passed the greenhouses he automatically glanced at the restricted greenhouse. He stopped on the path and frowned at the building. _That's odd_. The lock that normally secured the restricted greenhouse hung open on the chain. McGonagall's previous comments about Halloween and pranking made a tendril of unease curl in Neville's stomach. He wasn't saying it was James…but, well… the boy seemed bound and determined to live up to both of his namesakes. It appeared as though the doors were open. Neville frowned and headed toward the building.

The restricted greenhouse was completely dark. Neville cast a quick spell to light the room and peered around trying to see if anything was missing. He cursed under his breath when he realized that his African Strangler had been tipped over on its side. They were delicate plants and this one had a prickly personality. He carefully righted the plant and made sure that the soil was replaced properly. He made a mental note to make sure that Cleopatra got the ground sirloin for lunch tomorrow.

"There you are girl," he murmured to the African Strangler and was rewarded with a warbling, cooing noise and the caress of one of her vines against his cheek. It was a shame that she would try to throttle anyone that wasn't him because she was such a loving little thing.

Neville looked around the room in confusion trying to figure out what in Merlin's name was going on. Cleopatra was the only plant that had been disturbed as far as he could tell. The Devil's Snare was fine in its special enclosure and the Venomous Tentacula appeared to be flirting with Cleopatra. Neville glanced about one last time and frowned. That was odd. He had been certain that the unknown plant was secured within the special enchanted planter that acted as a containment unit, but the enchanted planter was empty. He cursed under his breath and began to search the entire greenhouse. The plant had to be here somewhere—it wasn't as though it could just get up and walk off. Neville paused uncertainly. At least, he didn't think it could walk off. He sighed heavily and called for the house elves that were assigned to the greenhouses.

* * *

Working all night in the greenhouses and falling into his bed sometime in the very early morning resulted in Neville being late to the Great Hall for breakfast. As he stood in the entryway to the Great Hall Neville noticed with no small amount of trepidation that James Potter was sitting with his cousin Fred Weasley and snickering. There was no hard and fast rule that faculty or students _must_ eat every meal in the Great Hall and Neville didn't feel up to dealing with whatever those two had planned. Later he would blame his lack of sleep and utter exhaustion for not marching over to Potter and Weasley to interrogate them both about the restricted greenhouse. Instead he turned around and headed for the kitchen where the house elves were happy to make him a plate of bacon butties and a flagon of strong tea. He ate everything and headed out to the greenhouses for his first class.

An hour later found Neville impatiently tapping his foot and scowling at an empty greenhouse. His entire class was late. Considering that it was a combined class of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs something didn't seem quite right. Neville sighed and decided to go look for his class. He marched out of the greenhouse and headed toward the castle.

The grounds were eerily quiet and the skin on the back of Neville's neck prickled. Something wasn't quite right, but he wasn't certain what it was. The sense of relief Neville felt when he entered the castle was short-lived. The castle was oddly silent and Neville frowned. He turned in the direction of the Headmistress' office and walked there as quickly as possible. As he neared the gargoyles that guarded the Headmistress' office he heard a strange shuffling noise and a low moaning sound. Startled, Neville whirled about to see a group of his students moving toward him with a slow, lumbering gait.

"Merlin's beard!" Neville sputtered.

"Brains," the students groaned.

Neville's eyes widened in horror as he stared at his students.

"Brains," the students groaned again.

After judging that standing still as a group of people chanting 'brains' edged closer and closer was never a good idea Neville sprinted for his rooms. He wasn't sure what shape the Headmistress was in and he didn't know if he could handle watching McGonagall shuffling about her office groaning on about brains. Once he reached his room he was in for a surprise. An impatient Dominique Weasley was standing outside his rooms tapping her foot with her arms crossed across her chest and glaring at her cousins James Potter and Fred Weasley. Fred was clutching something to his chest and Neville almost tripped when he realized it was the unknown plant from the restricted greenhouse.

"I'm sorry Uncle Neville!" James wailed and flung himself on Neville. "I had no idea it was a Zombie Plant, I swear!"

"A what?" Neville blinked and looked at the other two.

"The shuffling, the groaning, the bit about the brains?" Fred suggested and held out the plant as though it were a dangerous bomb.

"What in Merlin's name is going on?" Neville snapped irritably, unconsciously slipping into what Hannah teasingly called his 'Auror Voice'. Unfortunately old habits die hard and often Neville didn't even realize he was doing it.

"I took the plant," James confessed with wide eyes. "I just… I never thought that it would… I'm so sorry."

"Come on, let's get into my rooms," Neville told the children huddled outside his office. Once they were all in he turned to face his students. "Now tell me exactly what you did. Leave out nothing."

"Well…" James trailed off and looked to Fred.

Fred hunched his shoulders and ducked his head. "Everyone knows that the restricted greenhouse is where all the really cool stuff is," he muttered.

"Cool?" Neville's voice shot up an octave and he glared at the two young men in front of him. "_Cool_? Try incredibly dangerous if not fatal, Fred Weasley. You two knocked over my African Strangler, which was right next to the Venomous Tentacula by the way. Not to mention the Devil's Snare. Merlin, you two could have been killed!"

"We're sorry, sir, we really are," James said miserably. "We just thought it would be a little fun to prank the Slytherins. Fred and me spiked their pumpkin juice with just a little of the plant juice."

"Plant juice?" Neville echoed and he frowned. Were they talking about sap? He knew that some plant saps caused allergic reactions, but nothing like the shuffling, moaning student body in the halls. "What did you do exactly? I need to know."

The boys showed Neville where they had carefully cut off several leaves and crushed them to get the sap. Neville examined the leaves carefully and even snipped one off to crush it as the boys had done.

"That's not sap," he murmured to himself.

"What?" Dominique peered over his shoulder and tried to look through his microscope.

"This isn't sap… it's something else, something different," he answered absently. He did a quick and dirty cross section of one of the leaves muttering under his breath the entire time.

"I told you two it was a bad idea," Dominique snapped as she rounded on her cousins. "I told you two not to do it, but do you listen to me? No, dumb old Dominique is just a girl, what does she know? I'll tell you what I know; I know that my sister is a zombie and that my Dad is going to have to restrain my Mum from setting you both on fire!"

"Dominique!" Both boys protested their innocence talking over one another in an effort to be heard.

"Enough," Neville yelled loudly. He glared at the three students. "What did you do after you extracted the substance?"

"We put it in a little bottle and snuck into the kitchen. We spiked the Slytherin table's pitchers of pumpkin juice and we snuck out," James told his Professor.

"But those students in the hall were Hufflepuffs, not Slytherin," Neville pointed out.

"It's catching," James explained.

"It's infectious," Dominique told Neville. "Some first-year Slytherin sneezed on my sister, and the Hufflepuffs helped Julian Pucey when he got a nosebleed."

"Merlin," Neville whispered in horror. He looked to James and Fred. "It didn't affect the house elves, did it?"

"I don't think so," James replied slowly.

"It's easy enough to find out," Fred said with a shrug. "Mopsy!"

A house elf cracked into view and looked expectantly at Neville. "Master Longbottom was needing Mopsy?"

"Mopsy have you noticed the, er, behaviour of the students?" Neville asked.

"Oh, yes, Master Longbottom." Mopsy nodded so hard his ears waved back and forth.

"But the house elves are safe, right?" Neville tried to remain calm as he waited for his answer.

"Yes, sir, Master Longbottom," Mopsy replied. "The house elves all hide in the kitchen. We has locked the kitchen down, sir."

"Excellent, stay in the kitchen," Neville said firmly. He paused and looked at the tired, frightened faces of James, Fred and Dominique. "And could you bring a tray in here with dinner for the children?"

"Of course, sir," Mopsy replied with another emphatic nod. The house elf cracked out.

* * *

The tray of food had been demolished by the students, but they had set aside a ham sandwich for Neville. He was working frantically in his study trying to figure out what had happened with the strange substance from the plant and the students. Only a couple hours had passed, but each minute felt like an eternity to Neville. Finally, he stopped for a break and went to eat his sandwich. Two slices of bread were on the plate, but the meat was gone. Neville frowned at his plate and then turned to the students.

"Did you lot nick my ham?" Neville asked with a small frown.

"No, professor," the students chorused.

Dominique frowned back at him. "Why would we? The house elves would be more than happy to bring us another tray."

"That's true they would," Neville murmured to himself. "Have you got any meat over there? Anything at all?"

"There's a bit of steak and kidney pie," Fred said and held out a small plate.

"Perfect," Neville said with a grin. He moved the plate that used to hold his ham sandwich and set down the half-eaten steak and kidney pie.

"What are you doing Professor?" James asked curiously.

"Shh. Just watch," Neville replied quietly.

After several minutes the plant sent out a little tendril that snatched a piece of steak and kidney pie. Neville grinned at the students who gasped in surprise. They watched him call Mopsy back, ask for a small dish of whatever brains the house elves might have handy, and then feed the plant the brains.

"Professor," Dominique began with a small frown. "What are you doing?"

"The plant is obviously carnivorous," Neville pointed out. "I don't think that the other students are zombies, I think that the plant might be influencing them. There, see that? It ate the ham and it seemed to like the steak and kidney pie, but it's scarfing down the brains."

"And the students were saying 'brains,'" Dominique murmured thoughtfully.

"Exactly!" Neville said the excitement visible in his face. "I think we may be seeing an example of a sympathetic connection. The students are able to communicate the plant's needs."

"But what about Victoire?" Dominique asked in a small voice.

"I don't think that the effects are permanent," Neville explained. "The substance will most likely be in effect for a few hours and then wear off."

"But it's been a few hours!" James protested.

"We've been in here the entire time," Neville pointed out. "They may have returned to normal."

Neville would be lying if he said that his heart wasn't pounding in his chest as all of them slipped out of his rooms and into the hall. He found himself slipping back into Auror mode much more easily than he would have thought possible. He gestured to the three students to be silent and follow after him. For once in his life James Potter listened and did exactly as he was told. They ran into a group of disoriented students grouped in one of the halls. All of the students seemed confused and couldn't recall the events of the last few hours at all.

* * *

"I don't want to hear another word Professor," Headmistress McGonagall said stiffly. "I want that plant gone today."

"Yes Headmistress," Neville agreed. When she was in this sort of mood it was best to just nod and smile.

"And I expect Potter and Weasley to serve out their detentions with you," she continued.

"Oh believe me, ma'am, when I'm through with them they'll never want to see the inside of the restricted greenhouse ever again," Neville said grimly.

Headmistress McGonagall beamed at him and nodded. "Just so," she said with satisfaction. She paused and tilted her head to the side. "I was very proud of you today Neville. It was an unknown situation with our students' lives potentially at risk and you handled it very well."

"Thank you, ma'am." Neville wasn't sure what else to say.

She snorted and shook her head at him. "After a day like today you've earned the right to call me Minerva."

Neville just blushed. "I… thank you. Um, Minerva," he added with another blush.

* * *

It was with a sigh of relief that Neville collapsed into the little booth that he'd begun to think of as 'his' at the Leaky. He put his head in his hands and just concentrated on breathing in and out. He didn't even look up when he heard the dull _thunk_ of a bottle and the softer _chink_ of a tumbler being set upon the table. There was a rustle of clothing as somebody slid into the booth with him.

"So what's on your mind?" Hannah's voice was light and teasing, but when Neville glanced up at her face her eyes were concerned.

His lips twisted in a wry grimace. "What makes you think something's on my mind?" He replied automatically.

Hannah smiled at him fondly. "C'mon Neville, you look like death warmed over. You're a Professor at Hogwarts not an Auror anymore. How bad could it have been?"

Neville snorted and then proceeded to tell her exactly how bad it had been. Hannah's eyes got larger and larger and her jaw dropped open half way through his explanation.

"I shouldn't have asked," Hannah muttered and shook her head. "Merlin, I'm sorry Neville." She moved as though she were going to get up and leave.

Neville grabbed her hand. "No, please don't go," he said quickly. He smiled at her, a genuine smile this time. "I'm glad that you asked."

Hannah's eyes lit up with pleasure. "Yeah?" Her voice was soft and she leaned toward him across the table.

Neville stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "Yeah."


End file.
